Est. 2002
Season 2026
โ† Round 12 Round 14 โ†’
Pirates
209 โ€“ 167
Western Suburbs Walkabout
Cheats
163 โ€“ 197
Coolbellup Cazzu Grandes
Corio Bayside
179 โ€“ 174
Fabulous Phils
Sainta's Sinners
158 โ€“ 172
Fitzroy
Coolgardie Safes
150 โ€“ 142
South East Suburban Flannie
North Suburban Boner
141 โ€“ 129
Bethnal Green Village
Western Suburbs Walkabout
0 โ€“ 0
Cheats
Pirates
0 โ€“ 0
North Suburban Boner
Coolbellup Cazzu Grandes
0 โ€“ 0
Corio Bayside
Bethnal Green Village
0 โ€“ 0
Sainta's Sinners
Fabulous Phils
0 โ€“ 0
Coolgardie Safes
Fitzroy
0 โ€“ 0
South East Suburban Flannie

A history lesson is needed. When the DDHP rules were lifted from The Age's Dream Team competition in the mid-1990s, an AFL team laid around 28 tackles a game. Today they lay about 60. The DDHP still pays six points per tackle - the same as a goal - which means a stat that was once a modest contributor to scoring has, without anyone voting on it, doubled its share of the pie. Round 12 was again rich in evidence: Tom Atkins, James Rowbottom and Cameron McKenzie all posted 36-plus from the tackle slot, while Charlie Curnow's 49 for Coolbellup - the actual point of the sport, putting the ball through the actual sticks - looked positively quaint by comparison. Speaking of Curnow: Coolbellup Cazzu Grandes beat the Cheats. A low-down side rolling the top side, on the back of Curnow's forward heroics and Sam Walsh's 42 as - you guessed it - the over-valued tackler. Rhea Ripley losing the women's title would feel similar; favourites lose all the time and it never stops being interesting. The Pirates beat Western Suburbs Walkabout despite Brodie Grundy not contributing a single point - Lachlan Ash's 34 and Jye Amiss's 28 quietly carrying them home. North Suburban Boner edged Bethnal Green Village in the round's lowest-scoring match, James Rowbottom posting his 42 from - once again - the tackle slot.

Season standings
# Team P W D L %
1 🏆 Cheats 13 10 0 3 111.03
2 🏆 🏆 🏆 🏆 Pirates 13 9 0 4 111.38
3 🏆 Western Suburbs Walkabout 13 9 0 4 107.33
4 🏆 Corio Bayside 13 8 0 5 113.36
5 🏆 🏆 Fitzroy 13 8 0 5 99.24
6 🏆 🏆 South East Suburban Flannie 13 6 0 7 100.45
7 Coolbellup Cazzu Grandes 13 6 0 7 92.76
8 Sainta's Sinners 13 5 0 8 102.06
9 🏆 🏆 🏆 Bethnal Green Village 13 5 0 8 93.62
10 🏆 🏆 🏆 🏆 North Suburban Boner 13 5 0 8 90.87
11 🏆 🏆 Coolgardie Safes 13 5 0 8 90.65
12 🏆 Fabulous Phils 13 2 0 11 88.51
Team submissions
Western Suburbs Walkabout โœ—
Bethnal Green Village โœ—
Cheats โœ—
Coolbellup Cazzu Grandes โœ—
Corio Bayside โœ—
Fabulous Phils โœ—
Fitzroy โœ—
North Suburban Boner โœ“
Pirates โœ“
Sainta's Sinners โœ—
South East Suburban Flannie โœ—
Coolgardie Safes โœ“
๐Ÿ… Steven King Medal After round 12
1 Tom Atkins Sainta's Sinners 21v
2 James Rowbottom North Suburban Boner 19v
3 Brodie Grundy Pirates 19v
4 Sam Berry Western Suburbs Walkabout 16v
5 Andrew Brayshaw Pirates 16v
6 Jack Steele Corio Bayside 16v
7 Max Gawn Coolgardie Safes 15v
8 Nick Daicos Fabulous Phils 14v
9 Archie Roberts Western Suburbs Walkabout 13v
10 Josh Dunkley Fitzroy 12v